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Ultimate Bottom

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No, an "ultimate bottom" is not a wrestler, nor is it another term for a particularly perky butt. It is an uke who bottoms to everyone. Everyone.
No matter who they're paired with, this character will always be the bottom. Perhaps it's because they're cute and adorable; perhaps it's because they do in fact have a particularly perky butt; whatever the reason, this uke's milkshake brings all the semes to the yard.

Ultimate Top

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If you read last week's lesson, you can probably guess what an "ultimate top" is. They're the seme of all semes. The alpha and never the omega. The top who tops even the toppiest of tops.
...I think you get the picture.
No matter who this character is paired with, they will dominate oh-so-deliciously. There will be fights for the position, of course, but that's just part of the fun! Though now that I think about it, why does no one fight over being the ultimate bottom? Sad times.
Many fujoshi (including those here at Renta!) long for a character who can top the ultimate top, but in general, he won't be uke to anyone. More sad times. If there is a character capable of it, he would truly be the Seme King.

The Uke Queen

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Beautiful. Proud. A little domineering. Yes, I'm talking about myself the "uke queen". He's not actually uke royalty, of course, and this queen is a little different to what you might be imagining.
In yaoi, an uke queen is often quite cold on the outside (but oh-so-warm inside...), and can play very hard-to-get. He goes well with semes who are either full of energy or completely useless. If you want something a little more explosive though, sparks tend to fly when an uke queen is paired with a sadistic seme. They fight. They bite. They fight and bite and scratch those itches.
Uke queens are known as "all-rounders", and I'm sure they get all around.

Younger Seme/Older Uke

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Some yaoi scholars (yes, such people do exist) would have you believe that semes are always older than ukes, but they are in fact blatantly lying. The younger seme/older uke pairing is both delicious and delightful and comes in all forms much like a seme *wink wink*
If we're just talking about younger semes/older ukes in general, you might think of guys in different school grades, or a businessman and a college student, or perhaps even brothers, but yaoi in Japan goes further than that. The middle-aged uke is very popular with staff at Renta!, and once you start going down that rabbit/tiger hole, there's no turning back. Srsly. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
Middle-aged ukes are usually pretty hot, in reality (well, manga-reality...), but they see themselves as unappealing, frumpy old men who no one would be interested in. Enter seme. Sometimes Often Pretty much always literally. The younger seme likes that they're the only one who sees their older uke's charms, but of course the older uke worries that his younger seme will grow tired of him... Then they have sex.
Such is yaoi.

Enthusiastic Uke

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An "enthusiastic uke" is a rare and beautiful jewel in the yaoi world.
It's usually the seme who starts the sex, who leads the sex, who does all things technical pertaining to the sex, but every once in a blue moon, along comes an enthusiastic uke... An uke who actually wants to both get down and go down, which really shouldn't be that unusual, but that's yaoi for you.
Even among enthusiastic ukes, though, there are different kinds. There's the sort who will push the seme to the bed, climb on board and ride for all he's worth, which is known as an "attacking uke" in Japan. Kinda sounds like a ninja!cat-boy... They might act like this naturally, or they may have been driven to it by a seme who riled them up so good that all they can do is pounce on that c*ck. Why am I still with the cat-boys...?
There's also an "enticing uke", who, unsurprisingly enough, will entice the seme to have sex with him by using his cat-boy pheromones uke wiles. He may simply tempt the seme through subtle flirtation, or he might be completely oblivious to the effect his sexy little self has on others.
No matter how he seduces his seme, the enthusiastic uke is always a pleasure to behold. And no, I'm totally not biased or anything... Also, I don't even like cat-boys?

Useless Seme

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"Useless seme" might sound a bit harsh, but there isn't really another way to describe this particular type of seme. They are, for all intents and purposes, pretty useless.
I mean, yes, they might be good for some purposes, but in general they're the kind of guy you'd roll your eyes at.
They're unreliable, unmotivated, and can be rather unlucky in love. What they really need is a swift kick up the backside and if they switch, perhaps something else as well... For some reason, though, this kind of seme is still quite endearing. Maybe it's because you want to see him taken care of, or maybe it's because you enjoy seeing him punished. Sadistic? Who, me?. In any case, useless semes can be found to have their uses...

Masochistic Uke

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"S&M" is a pretty normal thing in Japan, and while it does stand for "sadist" and "masochist", it has zero relation to BDSM (and sometimes has very little to do with actual sex, either). The Japanese idea of being "S" or "M" more closely reflects feelings of domination and submission and doesn't indicate a preference for giving or receiving pain in any form.
Masochistic (M) ukes aren't particularly common in yaoi, but much like enthusiastic ukes, they actively enjoy sexy times. Humiliation seems to be a common theme when M ukes are involved, but this can still be within the privacy of a bedroom. They might be embarrassed about their desires, but the seme always steps up and fulfills their every fantasy!
If you decide you like masochistic ukes, you may find yourself becoming a little masochistic too, trying to find a manga with one in...

Sadistic Seme

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Following on from last week, this week we have the opposite of an "M uke" - a "Sadistic (S) seme"!
An S seme will embarrass, tease and torment their uke in the name of pleasure. Obviously, S semes go very well with M ukes, but they'll happily inflict their own brand of sexy sadism on other ukes, too. They usually... hopefully won't be unnecessarily cruel, though.
There are different kinds of S seme, and the way they behave will depend entirely upon their situation. For example, there is the "polite-but-not seme" (think butler/master), who will have impeccable manners and speak with the utmost elegance... Apart from the fact that he's telling his uke to do all sorts of sordid things. Yay if you like dirty talk. Then we have the "wicked seme", who appears to be a model student/employee/whatever, but teases his uke lovingly mercilessly in private. Of course, there's also the "manly seme" (and yes, I am being patronizing), who will be the head of a yazuka organization or some other super manly thing and behaves much as you'd expect. I enjoy it when someone makes this kind of seme bottom, because I, too, am an S...
For reasons unbeknownst to me, yaoi manga rarely features S ukes or M semes, but S semes abound, so pick a manga and prepare yourself! (...That wasn't meant to be a double entendre, but I'm not going to apologize for it being one.)

Cocksure Uke

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I'm sorry, I had to give it that title. How could I resist? But don't worry, I've resisted the urge to makes any puns... Barely.
"Cocksure ukes" are short-tempered, quick to fight, and sore losers. They're tough, manly men, who bend to no one. You know, apart from when they do bend. There are many cases of "the lady uke doth protest too much", as even though he may fight with his seme, he still ends up clinging to him, mind and body. Those hips don't lie.
Due to the fact that cocksure ukes are rather hot-and-cold, can be quite narcissistic, and often put on airs, they're similar to uke queens, but, you know, more manly. (Can't forget how manly these men are!) They're also all-rounders, but go particularly well with sadistic semes. Then they get all tied up (sometimes literally - yay!) and their pride crumbles and it's just beautiful, really.
Cocksure ukes FTW!

Ore-sama Seme

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"Ore" (pronounced "oh-reh") is a very informal, male term for "I", which is rarely used in polite company. On the other hand, "sama" (pronounced "sah-mah") is a very respectful term you attach to someone else's name (e.g. Miss Piggy → Piggy-sama). You would never refer to yourself as "sama". That's just a big social no-no.
"Ore-sama" could probably be translated as "The Great and Wonderful Moi", giving you an idea of just how up themselves these types of guys are. They can be found everywhere in life, but in yaoi manga, they're more often than not the seme.
Ore-sama semes are arrogant, narcissistic, and expect everyone to follow their lead. Their word is law and they are brilliant and shame on anyone who suggests otherwise. If they could kiss their own ass, they probably would.
They can appear sadistic at times, as they enjoy controlling others, but despite the size of their egos, ore-sama semes are often pretty useless. They hide their feelings by teasing the person they like and can be oblivious to what's going on around them.
Once the uke breaks through that thick, thick shell, all the gooey goodness comes flowing out and the ore-sama's inner sweetheart is revealed. Happy endings all round!

Tsundere Uke

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If you're a fan of manga/anime, you've likely heard of "tsundere" (pronounced "tsun-deh-reh") characters and know that they're rather hot-and-cold. They act uninterested and occasionally angry, but then they get all blushy and adorable when the person they like does or says something nice. The term comes from "tsun-tsun" and "dere-dere", which roughly mean "aloof" and "love-struck" respectively.
In yaoi manga, it's often the uke who is a tsundere character. He may say, "Shut up! No way I'd like someone like you! But actually I love you and want your babies." "Whatever! It's not like I did that for you or anything! It was all for you and if you don't like it I'll cry." and "I'm not jealous! I don't even like you! I love you more than cake itself and I'm so jealous it's not even funny. Love meh!"
Basically, tsundere types are incapable of communicating their feelings and can end up being quite contradictory. However, if they're paired with someone who understands that, they can still live happily ever after. Tsundere ukes might misunderstand something their seme has said and get upset (leading to some lovely angst), but it's okay, because their seme is also head-over-heels for them and once everything is cleared up, they can go back to being adorable together.

Yandere Seme

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While "tsundere" might be a common term, "yandere" is less well known. "Yan" comes from the verb "yamu", meaning to fall ill. These characters aren't actually sick, but they are mentally and emotionally unwell. However, when they're confronted with someone they like, they also turn all love-struck and gooey. Alternatively, sometimes they turn yandere specifically because they've fallen head-over-heels for someone.
When the yandere character is a seme, they tend to want to stick very, very close to their uke. Like, super close. Like, I'm going to handcuff you to me so you can't get away close and no I'm not implying that that dude who likes cake is yandere, but... If the shoes-he-doesn't-wear fit... As a result, the uke is often held in confinement while the seme asserts his dominance™, meaning manga with yandere semes are not for the faint of heart...